The Apple Falls Too..

It greatly distresses me that you suffer from repeated colds and slight fevers, because I have experienced this kind of illness myself. At first I dismissed it; youth could still withstand harm and defy disease. But eventually I gave in, and reached a point where I was wasting away and had become extremely thin.

I was often tempted to end my life, but the thought of my kind, elderly father held me back. I told myself that the question was not how bravely I could die, but how little strength he had to bear losing me with courage. So I ordered myself to live. Because sometimes even living is an act of courage.

I will tell you what brought me comfort at that time. These comforts had a healing power of their own, because whatever raises the spirit also benefits the body. I owe my recovery to philosophy. I am indebted to it for my life.

Lucilius, best of men, my friends also played a great part in my recovery; their encouragement and their words soothed me. Nothing revives someone who is ill as much as the affection of friends. When I thought of them remaining after me, I could not believe that I would die. It was as though I were entrusting my soul to them. These things gave me the will to help myself and endure every torment. Otherwise, it is a terrible misfortune to have cast aside the wish to die and yet have no reason to live.

Turn to these remedies yourself, then. A physician will tell you how much to walk and what to eat; I will teach you something that is a remedy for your whole life: hold death in contempt. Once we are free of the fear of death, nothing is sorrowful. Every illness brings three difficulties: the fear of death, physical pain and an interruption of pleasures. We have said enough about death; let me add only that this is not a fear of illness, but a fear of nature.

Illness has delayed death for many people, and for some, appearing to be on the verge of destruction has itself been their salvation. You will die because you are alive, not because you are ill! That fate awaits you even if you are cured. When you recover, you will have escaped illness, rather than death.

Now let us return to your particular difficulty: pain. Illness brings great suffering, but the breaks and pauses between bouts of pain make it bearable. The intensity of excruciating pain brings about its own end; no one can suffer both very severely and for a very long time. Nature, which loves us dearly, has formed us so that pain is either bearable or brief.

The most severe pains settle in the body's most delicate parts: nerves, joints and other narrow places react fiercely when they are injured within their confined spaces. Before long, however, these parts become numb and, from the intensity of the pain, lose the sensation of pain...

For now, remember this and hold on to it firmly: do not surrender to hardship, do not put your trust in good fortune, and keep all the audacity of Fortune before your eyes, as though one day it will do everything within its power. Whatever we have expected in advance will be lighter to bear when it arrives.