The Illusion of Choice
Rollo May on anonymity, mass media and the need to be seen, from Love and Will.
In the present alienated state of mass communication, every ordinary citizen knows a dozen television personalities who enter their living room smiling every afternoon, yet they themselves are never known.
In this state of alienation and anonymity, which is painful for anyone to endure, a person can easily develop fantasies that border on genuine disturbance.
The anonymous person's state of mind is this: if I cannot influence anyone or touch them, at least I can shock you into feeling something; through injury and pain, I can force passion and sorrow upon you. At least I must make sure that we both feel something, and I must compel you to see me and know that I am here too!
Many children and adolescents have compelled a group to recognize them through destructive behavior. Although they have been found at fault, at least they have received the group's attention. Being actively hated is almost as good as being actively loved, because it breaks through the unbearable condition of anonymity and loneliness.